vampire weekend

So summary in the end of week, I ate too much, I gave myself too much. Out of pure and sheer happiness of being back at Mlyny. For one, my parents were here whole week. And as much I adore my parents it took me some time to get used in spending so much time with them. My father was driving me insane. Combine that with wery little sleep last month (yes month!) you get very grumpy and intolerant me. But it was good. Enjoying country side with them. Re-discovering of Slovakia for me. In early summertime it's the best place ever. It reminded me why I fell in love in this country in the first place.
As second comes me and my french lover.
I enjoyed him also. During the time I was at home, I was thinking and talking a lot with him and about him. When I came back the only thing on my mind was desire to kiss him. So I did. We watched stars on the balcony, after quite handful night together ;)
I'll just have to get used to have lights turned on. The worse thing in the world. I prefer dark for the 'dark' things.
So Erasmus continues and life got back to 'normal'...

tant pis (doesn't matter)

Estear was. Well fun, I guess. Kinda boring at home, nothing to do but eat, drink and meet friends. So different from last week. Frenzy was over. Only thing that remained was sit for that uncomfortable/awkward beer with someone I loved. It was really odd meeting. I would not say unconfortable but that was it. End of the line. His passion dissipated like speck of dust and suprisingly mine has too. I was so harsh this morning, saying 'I will fight for this!', but there's just nothing to fight for anymore. My life here was like vacation. Long one, if you ask me. Tommorow I'm going. Finally. I just want to go back. Not dissapointed, not left alone, not broken. Relieved. I did everything I could here. I talked to everyone I wanted, I got the results that I wanted (more or less) and I still find myself being just me. The me who wants more. Who wants more with passion. In all my years of uni, I wanted more. The only thing right now for me is to live. I feel eliberated.

we come 1

World mixing over. Weird week over.
I think you must feel very important having girls hunt you.. After visiting Museum of broken realtionships I realized only one is worthy of entering there.
And that only one spent whole 5 days entratainig my roomate and taking care of people around. Today it was his day to show us(me) his real face again. Just one ill placed comment in a beautiful afternoon.
After 5 days of pure crazyness I go back to where it all started. My sun filled home.It is already as my life there and me being home is just a dream. My place is somwhere else and it's not called Croatia anymore.
Have nice Easter holidays :*

desaparecido

Love life in Erasmus is quite specific thing. It's like you're living in a bubble where outside doesn't exist. Reality gets mixed with a dream very easily. It's not uncommon here tu jungle more than 5 love/sex pursuits at the same time. Afther initial shock you begin to feel normal doing that. Or even if you're not thing will happen to you. And boy, are you pretty for everyone!
Some days I feel like hunted rabbit. Or a meat in a BigMac. Juggling alot.
Tonight Ceci asked me am I not afraid of mixing my two worlds, Erasmus and Croatian one nex week. In one way, I'm scared. I don't like to do it not even in normal circumstances. Mix people. But in the other way, I'm insanely happy for them to save me from severity of my life at home.
The thing I'm dreaded is the time I will not spend in Erasmus. I feel like every minute here counts. And I'll be gone for time that mesures in Erasmus like ages. What will happen after coming back? It's all open cards for me. Vast space waiting to be filled with something new, exciting, intoxicating.

price

Mother of my friend said to her long time ago: three boys at least, or none. It's true. Most of time in our lives we have either insane amount of people interested, or we feel like last slug on the road, none.
Right now I feel like more than three. Actually with the spring everthing intensified here. I got used to be here, it's my home in the way Zagreb never was.
Second, trip to Krakow broke the barrier of many things. I realized the sex feels, breaths and smells the same no matter the language. Third, every prejudice you have about french people are true. Well, most of them. Good lovers. Yes, for me. Croatians can be very brutal in demand of what they consider to be 'their rights' in making love. After long time, I felt like coupling was dedicated for my enjoyment, his was just side effect of that.
Fourth, after Krakov,more than ever, I realized that prison is a state of mind. Auschwitz-Birkenau on a day you imagine in your dreams. When you're inside, even 80 years later, you realize that inside there was no sun, moon, spring, winter. Every day must have been the same torture. That was horrible. But not in the way I expected to be. In the end I'm glad to choose to go there.
Fifth, graphic design in both Czech Republic and Poland, left me breathless. And I am very hard person to surprise or amaze.
Conclusion: things are set in motion. I don't care anymore what will hapen or what is happenig at home. Here is my home, here are my frends.
Those who I left, will be there when I come back. :*