tant pis (doesn't matter)

Estear was. Well fun, I guess. Kinda boring at home, nothing to do but eat, drink and meet friends. So different from last week. Frenzy was over. Only thing that remained was sit for that uncomfortable/awkward beer with someone I loved. It was really odd meeting. I would not say unconfortable but that was it. End of the line. His passion dissipated like speck of dust and suprisingly mine has too. I was so harsh this morning, saying 'I will fight for this!', but there's just nothing to fight for anymore. My life here was like vacation. Long one, if you ask me. Tommorow I'm going. Finally. I just want to go back. Not dissapointed, not left alone, not broken. Relieved. I did everything I could here. I talked to everyone I wanted, I got the results that I wanted (more or less) and I still find myself being just me. The me who wants more. Who wants more with passion. In all my years of uni, I wanted more. The only thing right now for me is to live. I feel eliberated.