yesterday my heart was full

I just had enough time alone to finally realize Vida is gone. Really really gone. I remember holding her in a tight hug last summer. With her smile. It is so unfair. It's so cliche everything I would want to tell or write. And I still think it's joke. But then again it's not. I cried a little bit.
So preoccupied this weekend, so tired. So the news settled yesterday. It's kinda morbid - four weddings and a funeral.
Afther that, I saw other news from home. I should have been hurt, but than again, in the light of her gone and other things, it seemes so meaningless this time. I cried enough tears for that fiction on my last train ride home.
Rather than cry over so stupid thing, I decide to pick up on my diet again, workout and finally do some brain work if I ever mean to accomplish anything. Even so meaningless and pointless as my home university final thesis. Over the years I developped certan indifference. Realization punchline: if you think about your courses as tool, and not put too much brain in to it, it will turn to the best. I can't wait to move on.